Are ‘your’ priorities straight?
Students are often swamped with work, and over the span of eight class periods, homework can often take several hours to complete. Photojournalist Gianna Ortner-Findlay snapped a photo of the sheer amount of homework she has. “My priority has effectively been on, everything but myself.” Ortner-Findlay said, “The question now is not what your priority is, in contrast, it is why are you not your priority?”
In the game of life, everyone has priorities. People focus all of their attention on that thing, whatever the priority may be. And anything else that does not have as much importance is often forgotten. This type of intense hyper-focus is usually put toward subjects such as homework, grades and college scholarships, the topics our parents would expect us to center around. But have you ever looked your well-meaning parent in the eye and said this one simple statement?
My mental health is my priority.
If you have not, you are not alone. Even though mental illness affects about one out of every five teenagers (that’s 8.4 million people), and even though the United States is one of the most progressive when talking about these issues, mental health and its ailments are almost never at the top of the list when it comes to the “what are your priorities?” question.
What about this answer?
Happiness.
Have you ever replied that your priority is your happiness? Has the thought ever occurred that you do not have to spend six hours on homework and feel sad every day? If you have not, you are not alone.
As I have gone through life, I have been asked this question many times. My answers were always school-related. My priority is getting my homework done on time. My priority is getting in all AP classes. My priority is getting a scholarship, so I can go to the university I want. I often disregard the mental strain the work to achieve all those “priorities” will cause on me. My priority has effectively been on everything but myself. The question now is not what your priority is, but why are you not your priority?
For me, the answer to the question was simply that my happiness is not going to get me through college. It is not going to finish my overdue assignments. In my experience, Taking a “mental health day” has caused me more stress since the assignments pile on. Then, I spend the day catching up on the work that caused me to take the day off, instead of focusing on myself. My ability to work through my anxieties, and the trembling shake I have when I overcome a task I’m nervous for, makes me stronger. I may not be well, but my mental health can wait until after high school. It can wait until after college. But in the back of my mind, I have to ask myself why, out of all the things I have to do, why, focusing on myself is the last and least important action I take.
Various high schoolers feel the same as I do. I feel that I am pressured to succeed and that my worth and ability to be successful depends on what work I get done or what college I get into. While well-meaning parents push their children to pursue their hopes and dreams, sometimes the push turns into a shove. However, sometimes the greatest stressor and pusher turns out to be none other than ourselves. We, teens, are hypercritical of ourselves. We judge everything that we do. We psychoanalyze every answer that we give to least offend, or impress the people we’re talking, too. We reply that school is our No. 1 priority because that’s what we were taught to believe, and what we repeated to ourselves when we were lost within ourselves. School is your priority. Get good grades. Do not skip class. College will be better.
The reality of it all is, life is ultimately what we make it. Your priorities, although they should be focused in and around academic success, are not only just about school. While it is an institution of education, and that is what you should be doing, learning is about having fun. Life is about enjoyable experiences. Our priorities, above school, should be on ourselves. We should not be putting school above all, no matter the cost, because we are the cost. I should not lose myself in a towering mountain of paper and online assignments. I should not be stressing about my future plan on what I can do to succeed for the next four years, forgetting about what’s happening now. While my education is important, my mental health and its stability are vastly more important.
In the end, when asked what your priorities are, they should be about school, but in the list of most to least important, you should be at the top. After all, there is only one of you.
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Eileen • Nov 16, 2019 at 8:39 am
Let me play devil’s advocate here a bit because, as you’ll come to see, I’m from the other side. I grew up in a tiny town in Ohio. My parents didn’t really have any money but I had what I needed. I too wanted to ‘play’ in high school. I never understood why I needed to read Wuthering Heights or why I needed to memorize seemingly endless math equations. I wanted to relax, play marimba in marching band. I didn’t want to get trade job training that was offered for free at school because it was my time to play. I graduated with high honors still. After a year off (health issues), I decided to go to an ivy league college against my parents wishes of a state school. We took out loans upon loans to pay for it. I lived in the dorms for a time but then that became too expensive. I struggled to work full time, go to school full time, and I lived in government housing- not section 8 mind you (mostly for families). It was the projects. Rent was about $200/month and even then I struggled to afford it. There came a point I was selling plasma (blood product) weekly. If I didn’t pass prescreening, it means I didn’t get to eat a few days. I also struggled to maintain employment since school dictated my schedule that changed every 8 weeks. Finally, upon graduation, I had a six figure loan, but hey- ivy league education I was supposed to get a job anywhere! Not quite. You had to go where the job was, I ended up moving to Texas. I still had to live in some pretty rough areas. I had bullet holes in my walls and windows. My loan was almost the same as my rent to only pay off interest. It took until I was nearly 28 to get ahold of myself financially and mostly only because I got married and my husband was better off.
Why does this all matter? My school offered trade degrees including RN. I’m a RN now- so what would have been better? 2 years in high school, graduate with a job, do an online RN-BSN bridge for a year, and been done with at most a free thousand dollar loan and years of my life back vs what I experienced? I had years of worthlessness and struggling that could have been avoided. I know that mental health and playing are so very important. I absolutely hate to admit it, but choices as children and teens do effect the rest of your life. I would have been so much better off financially, I myself, could’ve been able to achieve the ‘American dream’ of owning my own house, being debt free, and saving for my own retirement. Instead, I was saddled down with debt I myself probably wouldn’t have finished until near my retirement.
So to add to your article, yes, mental health is extremely important but there is a very delicate balance. Years of heartache, struggling, and pain vs a few early years of play. Hindsight is 2020, right?
Kennedy Wyles • Dec 9, 2019 at 9:57 am
There was some confusion over the comment, and we would need clarification and a full name to run the comment.
D'Arriya Moore • Nov 15, 2019 at 3:05 pm
Hi, My name Is D’Arriya Moore. I am a freshman at Prosper High School. I have lived in McKinney for 3 years now, and I kind of like it. But from my freshman year of high school, so far I have been taking Journalism because I love to write things that come to my mind. As I was reading Gianna Ortner-Findlay’s report, I saw some very good things in it like about the homework stuff.I really agree with her like I focus on doing my homework so much that I lose track of time for myself, and etc. Gianna said: “I should not lose myself in a towering mountain of paper and online assignments.” I agree with that too because I personally think we should not be drowning in our own work. So, yeah, I really loved reading this, and I hope that she publishes more.