In about one week, many of us will gather with our families to enjoy a feast on one of the world’s most American holidays – Thanksgiving. The scent of stuffing will fill up the house, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade will play on the TV, and the children will fight over who gets to break the wishbone. It will be just like the old times, when we looked past our differences to focus on the big turkey in the middle of the table. 

That’s how the story goes, right? Friendly Native Americans from an unidentified tribe and the peaceful Pilgrims sat together to celebrate a successful harvest in Plymouth, Massachusetts, marking what is called today as the “First Thanksgiving.” However, is that what actually happened, or are we just making up a fantasy that we wish was true?

I don’t wanna break anyone’s bubble, but the real story is the opposite of a peaceful time. In 1621, the Wampanoag aided the first wave of Puritans in making a smooth transition to America, showing them how to plant crops, forage for wild foods and survive in the harsh winter weather. The colonists “thanked” the Natives’ kindness by brutally murdering an entire Pequot village and celebrating their victory with a feast in 1637. This is the first official mention of a Thanksgiving celebration. A century and a half later, President George Washington tried to create the national holiday of Thanksgiving as a public day of “thanksgiving and prayer.” Thanksgiving was finally declared an official holiday by President Abraham Lincoln in 1863 to heal a nation divided due to the civil war. So, it really had nothing to do with Native Americans and colonists coming together.

What we are taught now, both in elementary school and by our loved ones, is a twisted lie. The lie took off in America’s economically prosperous Progressive Era in the early 20th century where it was used as a tool to assimilate European immigrants into American culture. Thanksgiving was seen as the perfect holiday to show off the country’s patriotic values and promote mass consumerism among middle-class families. Again, it nothing to do with Native Americans and colonists coming together. 

When we constantly regurgitate the same false stories, we are actively hurting and silencing the Native American community. When Thanksgiving is celebrated this way, Natives are reminded of the indiscriminate slaughter of their people and how their land was illegally taken away by colonists. As a result, Thanksgiving isn’t a normal holiday for them; it’s the National Day of Mourning, established 50 years ago. Instead of the usual feast and games, the Native community rallies and educates the public on the genocide their ancestors went through. They use this day to spread awareness on the continued oppression the community faces. 21-years-old Kisha James attends the National Day of Mourning in her hometown of Plymouth every year where she and her community will fast for a whole day to remember the plight of their ancestors. She urges non-Natives to divorce their Thanksgiving celebrations from Thanksgiving mythology. 

Now, I’m not trying to be a party-pooper and declare that this beloved holiday for so many Americans should immediately be abolished. That’s not the message the Native American community or I am sending. What we need is respect and awareness. When celebrating Thanksgiving, acknowledge Native voices and the Native land you are feasting on. Educate the people in your life on authentic Native history and the lies surrounding it. Have your traditions include supporting Native businesses and brands. And even when it’s not Thanksgiving, fight for Native rights because activism doesn’t stop after the holiday ends.

At the end of the day, the true essence of both Thanksgiving and the National Day of Mourning is giving. Give food to those struggling financially. Give love to your loved ones. Give time to make the world a better place for all.